Savor Your Engagement Season

The engagement season of a relationship is peak euphoric happiness, and I don’t think enough couples take full advantage of it.

Before you get defensive, hear me out.

Do you remember your first relationship? Probably in high school or college. Do you remember how it felt? The butterflies, the thrill of seeing that person, holding their hand, the longing to spend every waking moment together?

Most people call this “puppy love.” Some lucky ones turn it into a lifelong relationship, but many don’t, and they end up holding those early feelings as the gold standard for what “right” should feel like in a relationship.

Then life happens. Dating in your 20s is full of exploration, meeting new people, figuring yourself out, and cycling through a lot of relationships. Inevitably, people put up walls and become jaded. This isn’t unique to men or women. I’ve felt it myself and watched it happen to plenty of my (female) friends too.

If that pattern carries into your 30s, things get even harder. You’ve become independent and comfortable being alone. Relationships feel riskier because you’re weighing the safety of your single life against the vulnerability of letting someone in.

Dating apps only make it worse. One weird feeling, one fight, one “not sure?” and thousands of other options are just a swipe away.

Despite all of this, most people eventually find someone they’re willing to risk it all for. The relationship blooms, someone pops the question, and, if it’s truly right, those early feelings of first-relationship euphoria come flooding back. You feel safe and confident about the future. You’re excited, your person is excited, and everyone around you is excited for you. In this sweet phase, before wedding planning kicks in, a couple genuinely enjoys each other. Everything feels easier, the guard is down, the air is sweeter, and life just feels great. (If that’s not the case, that’s a different conversation.)

Then wedding planning begins. Trust me: the stress and pursuit of perfection is never worth it. The day will be beautiful even if the timeline, seating chart, and flowers aren’t perfect. People will have fun. The whole thing will fly by in a blur. Don’t waste a single minute of your engagement stressing over things that won’t matter the second the wedding day starts.

After that? Life.

Am I saying happiness fades after marriage? Absolutely not. But it does change. Life changes it. Careers, building a home, growing individually and together, starting a family, raising kids, moving. It all reshapes what happiness looks like and how it feels.

Now happiness feels like watching your partner succeed, like solving problems and overcoming adversity together. It feels like building a safe place for your family. And time passes faster than you’d ever want. Some days you grow closer, some days you drift a little, but the commitment to always finding each other keeps everything moving forward.

I love my wife and I love my family. I couldn’t be happier with where we are.

So why am I writing this?

Yesterday I was walking around North Hills in Raleigh with Jenelle and Ford when I saw a couple get engaged. In an instant, I was transported back to proposing to Jenelle in Ebensburg in 2018. Almost immediately after the ring went on her finger, I heard someone ask, “When’s the wedding?” I wanted to run over and shout, “No! Enjoy every single minute of this. Don’t rush!”

But that would’ve been weird, so instead I’m writing this.

If you’re in that magical engagement season right now, please don’t let it slip by. Savor the butterflies, the ease, the pure joy. Those feelings don’t disappear after the wedding; they just evolve into something deeper and more enduring. But this particular sweetness? It only lasts for a little while. Make the most of it while it’s yours.